


the things we share

by takethebreadsticksandRUN



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Crack-ish?, M/M, but like, i love the idea of jon wearing martin's baggy sweaters, imagine it the other way around, jon is passive aggressive, martin loves him, podfic i guess?, post season five when they save the world duh, self indulgent fic, stealing each others clothes, we all do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:47:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24481489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takethebreadsticksandRUN/pseuds/takethebreadsticksandRUN
Summary: Statement of Jonathan Blackwood-Sims, regarding supernatural happenings around his and his husbands home.orJon is extremely passive aggressive.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 19
Kudos: 170





	the things we share

**Author's Note:**

> stealing each others clothes? YES YES THE CLICHE HAS NO POWER IN THIS HOME either does canon. ahhhh the joys of ignoring season five. anyways hope y'all like, please comment and tell me what you think!  
> xxx

(Tape clicks on, whirring in a tired way)

MARTIN

(Soothing, encouraging) Hey, I know it’s been a while, little machine, but can you hold on for just a _little_ bit longer? (sounds of him patting the recorder) Okay, let’s see, what have we got here…

Jon said I should record this one. Can’t argue with the Archivist.

(Clears throat) Statement of Jonathan Blackwood-Sims, regarding… supernatural happenings around his and his husband’s home. (Laughs softly) Are you joking with me?

Audio recording by Martin K. Blackwood, assistant archivist at the Magnus Institute, London.

Statement begins.

MARTIN (statement)

I have never been a strong believer in the paranormal. Just stories cooked up by those with too much time on their hands or acid in their system. Even my work at the Magnus Archives just served to convince me that while the effects of fear on humans can cause, shall we say, strange things, ghosts always seemed too vanilla to be true.

But now, well, now I’m not sure what I believe. I should probably start at the beginning. It all started maybe five years ago, when I first started dating my now husband. Every once in a while, things would go missing. A pair of socks here, an old overlarge jumper there, sometimes my favorite mug would be left in a strange spot where I was certain I hadn’t put it.

No, I didn’t lose them. They would be returned a week or so later, the clothes always smelling of lavender.

These would be pretty easy to dismiss, simple absentmindedness. It stopped when I moved in with my boyfriend. If it had been ghosts, they remained in my old flat. I was reassured when all of my possessions stayed where they belonged. I managed to forget about the experience. If I don’t think about it, it never happened.

All was well for a very long time. Then again, months after I moved in with my boyfriend, possessions began to vanish again. My jumpers were the most heavily coveted object. Most were returned, but some I never saw again.

Now I’m married. I’m an adult with a husband and a lovely home. But I’m afraid it’s haunted. You see, to date, a total of twelve jumpers, four sweatshirts, fourteen individual socks, and seven t-shirts of mine have gone missing in the past two weeks alone. I have set up traps, cameras, all sorts of surveillance, but nothing has been uncovered. I rather miss my sweatshirts…

Statement ends. (huffs)

Wow, Jon, that is…

(There is a knock on the door) Come in!

JON

(Innocently) How is the statement?

MARTIN

(Smiling) You utterly ridiculous man. Did you write a statement and plant it, knowing I _of course_ would read it?

JON

Maybe…

MARTIN

That is extremely passive aggressive of you.

JON

Desperate times call for desperate measures, love. (falsely serious) I need my sweaters, or I will die. You know that.

MARTIN

(slyly) You have no proof it was me. For all you know, we have ghosts who are extremely jealous of your old-man wardrobe.

JON

Oh come on, Martin, you aren’t fooling anybody. What ghost would steal only my baggiest clothes?

MARTIN

(Defensive) You are way smaller than me! I can’t exactly wear your everyday outfits or… (Laughs) Okay okay, you caught me. It was me, I admit it-

JON

(Triumphant) A-ha! A full confession, on tape too!

MARTIN

IN MY DEFENSE they are very comfortable. And (softly) they smell like you.

JON

Dang it, Martin, how can I be mad at you after that adorable confession? You always give them back, so no harm done, I guess, and you’re right, they smell like you when you’re done wearing them. Let's call a truce- you can wear my sweatshirts if I get to borrow your fuzzy socks and sweaters whenever I want to?

MARTIN

(Happily) Deal.

JON

(Laughs) You’ll get away with it this time, Mr. Blackwood-Sims…

MARTIN

Ditto, ditto. Now get back to work, you lazy human being! (echoing chuckles as the door closes)

**Author's Note:**

> title from the lovely thomas sanders song 'the things we used to share'  
> thanks to my lovely friend PigeonsInATree for this prompt, go check out their work!


End file.
